Handsome Devils

Kalashnikov is about 50% done.  I’m pondering my next “ancestor.” 

I appreciate you, dear blog readers.  You are welcome to use my knitting and crochet patterns.  You can copy any garment I sew.  You can use the spinning techniques and the recipes.  These are all crafts, and I love sharing them.  I get a special kind of thrill from seeing my hat pattern on the head of a lovely little girl I’ll never meet in person.  Crafting is sharing.

I don’t appreciate art theives.  Please don’t use my artwork, especially to make money.  My embroidery and embroidered quilts are off limits.  Art is something personal.  It came out of my soul and the labor was painful and emotional.  It’s my intellectual property.  Please don’t copy it.  You are welcome to post any of my content as long as you link back to me and give me full credit.  Don’t steal anyone else’s art, either.

I feel so much better now that we’ve cleared this up.

Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman…

I started this project full of sadness and longing.  I used the words from Tammy Wynette’s “Stand by your man,” for the embroidery.  As much as I hated the sentiment of the words, I couldn’t think of anything I wanted to embroider more.  I used David’s battle uniforms from Desert Storm…or Enduring Freedom…I don’t know.  Whatever, he wore them one of the times he got shot at.  I moved the name tape so it would mark the love letter pocket.  I made it big and huggable.  I wanted comfort.

I have to be honest with myself.  A lot of my grief has turned to anger.  I’m overwhelmed by loneliness.  My anger comes from the lack of love letters to fill the pocket.  I’ve been running on empty forever.  My husband only contacts me about twice a week, counting text messages.  He has access to a computer.  He has access to phones.  I am really angry that he doesn’t contact me every day. 

I deal with my stepchildren every day, but he can’t be bothered to hand me a lifeline every day.  I am angry that he doesn’t seem to care.  I’m not the one who created all the emotional and learning problems with my stepkids, but their lazy, ignorant mother can’t be bothered to take care of them.  A shitload of problems have been dumped on my lap and my husband isn’t helping me through it.

I am also angry because I’m ashamed of letting a man do this to my life.  I own this anger.  I’ll never end up in this situation again.  I deserve love every day.

Kniterdone